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Deadpan

by Törpedo

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1.
Death Card 01:35
Just pulled The death card My check out’s Come due My chrome tab I finally removed My dog smells Of something that I cannot trace At least I can still smell A blessing I’ll embrace Cuz when you just went up And pulled the death card I expect no delays My model looks real sound And yeah I'm proud But if not today Someday the wheels Will come off and roll away But that’s ok That’s ok That’s ok I say Over and over until I’m trained To think without thinking No thinking at all Just here and then gone Like dust on your shelf
2.
You’re in the bathroom mirror I see you on my way there Sweaty from decisions, Chopping on your hair Chop, hop hop I was on my way, but when I see you there I have to stop Now I pretend to know Pretend to drive the car Pretend that in those moments When you’re showing who you are I’m out on the copter wing Reaching down to reel you in Little fisherman, raggy boat Let's go home
3.
God in Drag 01:57
My god appears in drag As an EKG print out My god appears in drag As the dog demands patience My god appears in drag As an insult I just remembered As a conversation I avoided Man, I didn't expect that My god appears in drag As a cord that won’t stay plugged in My god appears in drag As a stupid thing I did once My god appears in drag As the ringing in my ears As the money I’m collecting Look who just walked in Hey, how am I doing?
4.
2 Americas 01:11
Mom saw it on the tv Callin up to see if I’m ok Yeah its just another day it’s just another day to mark down In the drawn out history, history of a symbol slowly flailing flailing failing, failing, gone, gone Pretty good chance It’s gonna get worse But I'd like to think, maybe it won’t? Like all good symbols cast out It’s burned beyond recognition, Beyond reasonable doubt Because when some asshole calls you the asshole That mean’s that you're the asshole now Pretty good chance It’s gonna get worse But I like to think, maybe it won’t?
5.
Jake's Album 01:55
Jake’s off all next week Jake’s gonna make an album Jake’s got some coffee to drink Jake’s gonna make an album Jake’s all hyped up right now Jake’s gonna make an album Could be a double album! Jake’s gonna make an album Jake’s got a drummer for roommate Jae’s got a bassist for a friend They're gonna be jamming over breakfast What could be better? Jake’s gonna make an album And I’m gonna play it all the time Jake’s gonna make an album Then I'll forget about it for a few years Jake’s gonna make an album That in a few years after that I’ll rediscover Hey, this is really good That album that Jake made is the kind of time travel I need I’m 53, I'm hugging the liner notes Jazmine finds my glasses for me The album that Jake made was pretty great!
6.
I turn the color green Mix up what I seen With far fetched beliefs I turn the color green Choking on a petty take Reaching for a synonym Feeling ill, feeling ill Reaching for the color fill Anything but Green I need a lighter tilt Green I'm a big green oil spill I try to run away but I come out the other side Of the screen like Mario in the bonus round of my dreams at night
7.
Lost Year 01:34
In the lost year You made a list of what you wanna do When this whole thing was over And when it wasn’t over you: Cursed the world Pulled the sheet You said it was just a lost year To hell with it, nothing good to do. In the lost year I made bets on what I’d do With cleared calendar There’s time to dedicate With nothing in the way In the lost year I learned not to wait To hell with it, I’ll go with it, what else is there to do?
8.
D-SQ-A 02:19
Woke up feeling good today Gonna get shit down Showered, paid my phone bill And left to grab lunch Sunny day, Kind of warm I look down there’s no time to react Deranged squirrel attack, woa! What the fuck is up with that? This squirrel wanna fuck you up That's fucked up shit People scatter, no one’s helping What could they really do? This fucker’s latched on, This fucker’s glued! I hammer down, I smash it’s spine Nothing seems to affect this guy Then after awhile he jumps off, Why? Deranged squirrel attack, woa! What the fuck is up with that? This squirrel wanna fuck you up That's fucked up shit
9.
Work 01:09
When you’re doing the work The work is hard It hurts in your back It hurts in your arms You can fry on egg Right on your brain You can shine a light Right in the lens, something changes When you’re doing the work The work is hard, the work is hard It pinches a nerve
10.
Call my accountant File my taxes Call my mechanic Have them screw on the plastic Call my doctor No don’t call my doctor Call my employer Inoculate me by the highest order Scrambled eggs A tension in my legs Unsettled karmic dread Spinning wheel warps the steel Try to heal, fail to heel I know I got up on the ledge somehow But how do I get down? I put on Ram I march around I lift the heavy things And balance on Alternating hands and knees Tuning in to channel three In the center of my head Appears a blue vapor web The pharaoh lifts an eye lid Then the bell rings And the kids stream in Ready to learn the trade Getting older on the day (God bless!) Time moves slowly Like the clock on Dad’s retirement So slowly, so slowly winding down

credits

released April 9, 2021

written / recorded / performed by Brandon Schlia

backup vocals by Jazmine Frazier & Jacob Smolinski

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Steak & Cake records Buffalo, New York

Est. February 2011

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